I've been on one lately and it's made me realise a few things...
The minute I try and deprive myself of something it all goes wrong!
For various reasons I have cut my hours at one of my jobs so I told myself I'd have a spending freeze to see if I could manage on the lower income - cue the spending spree. I'm lucky that I have some savings and so I just convinced myself that it was OK to dip into them. Needless to say I did!
I have no willpower!
Once I'd started I sort of convinced myself that as I'd broken the rule I might as well do it in style - ooh shiny thing yes please! (I'm the same with dieting, if I have something a little bit naughty in the morning then I've blown it for the day so go mad!)
I don't mind spending more to get good quality!
I've never had a lot of money. I was always the almost kid at school. I could never quite afford the 'in' thing so had the almost substitute (shell suit from Folkestone market anyone!) I convinced myself that if my £10 could get me 4 cheap t-shirts that was a bargain. In fact J and I used to have the argument at school - she'd laugh if she knew I'd come round to her way of thinking (£10 for one nice t-shirt) I also know that expensive doesn't always mean better (I know some companies charge a lot because of their name but the quality doesn't always match up!)
I'm overly influenced by the emails that bounce into my inbox on a far too regular basis and by social media.
If I don't know about it then I don't want it but as soon as that email / instagram photo / tweet / facebook post brings it too my attention I can't live without it (OK slight exaggeration but you see what I'm getting at!)
I don't still want to be decluttering when I'm 50!
I want to fill my home, wardrobe etc with less but better and with things that I will actually use and wear. You know it's bad when you take another batch of parcels to the post offie and they ask if this is all your stuff or if you go shopping and sell things on. Nope, all mine. I've got better but there is still a lot of room for improvement.
When I do shop it needs to be for the life I am living and not the one I think I ought to be.
I have one job where I work in an office built into the corner of a warehouse. It's a jeans and hoodies kinda job, some of the time in branded clothing. I may bring out a skirt or dress in the summer but it's a day to day comfy clothes kinda place. I have another job where I have to wear the clothes we sell, end of. I also have a third job for a couple of months in the summer, partly in a laid back office and partly in a field where no one gives two hoots what you're wearing. So yes, that Cath Kidston Bambi shirt seemed like a great idea when I bought it in December but it's now April and it hasn't left my wardrobe - it doesn't fit my life.
What am I going to do about all of the above?
I'm going to unsubscribe from those tempting emails. I'm going to stop following those tempting accounts on social media. This is the age of instant information - when I do truly need/want something I can look it up at the touch of a few keys. I can research. I can ponder. I might even find a different option/solution. But it will be to my timetable and my resources.
I'm going to think about the life I have when something does tempt me. This may not be where I thought I would be or where I ultimately want to be but it's where I am right now and right now is what matters. I can make changes to move this life in a different direction but buying a new shirt, faddy something isn't going to make it happen.
I will continue to declutter, donating, selling etc but I'm going to try not to instantly fill any space I make or spend any money that comes in. Slow and steady, thoughtful and researched.
I'm not going to stop spending as I already know that's a slippery slope but I want to change the emphasis instead. Rather than this or that gimmick or that 'almost' item I'll save up for something better. I'll have that one pair of custom made boots and wear them til they fall apart. Maybe I'll invest in me, better food, less screen time, a class, a hobby.
One step at a time...
I follow BuyMeOnce on various forms of social media. They curate both a UK and USA website of items built to last. Clothing, bags, jewellery, kitchen ware, furniture, electrical - you get the idea. Some of the items have lifetime guarantees, some offer a free repair service, some are made from recycled materials and some manufactured in the UK. No, they aren't cheap options, but if you get a lifetime guarantee or free repairs meaning you probably don't have to buy that item again - surely that's worth it.
Tara Button, the founder of the site, posted an article back in December that got me thinking - here's a little excerpt...
The more I found out about long-lasting products, the more I had my eyes opened to the horror of how damaging our buying habits are today. Since the 1930s, our spending has become more and more short term. Back then, the average person had nine outfits, and they’d repair and reuse them until they finally became rags to clean the oven with. Now we buy 59 pieces of clothing a year, and half of it ends up in landfill within 12 months. The pace of consumerism has made us all perpetually dissatisfied, increasingly lonely, debt ridden and anxious—not to mention the impact on the planet.
Just 9 outfits - and look at me putting just in front of that, like I can't believe you could manage on 9 outfits.working in a clothes shop I am aware of the excess in my wardrobe. We have to wear current stock so have a uniform and discount allowance, but as items become unavailable we can't wear them anymore so I end up with a stash of clothes, some of which I have paid towards that I can no longer wear. Yes, some of it I keep but it isn't always to my taste and there's only so much too i a wardrobe. I've given stuff to firmed, and sent bag loads to the charity shops but I think this season I need to rethink.
This season I plan to shop smarter!! I don't want to be staring at a whole load of stuff again. If I'm going to spend my hard earned cash on it then it's got to be something I will continue to wear outside of work. I know I have a habit of shopping for the 'me I want to be' rather than the 'me I am'. (See the gorgeous pair of velvet trousers I bought before Christmas and haven't worn as an example) Yes, one day I may reach that dream point, but for now I need to be sensible and practical! I want to stop with the 'special occasion' items - less of the wearing 20% of the clothes 80% of the time. If I own it I want to be wearing it. Not sure I'll ever be a 9 outfits kinda girl but who knows where it might lead.
And yes - I post this out into the world so that you can hold me accountable (especially if you work with me and I'm getting my bank card out!)
Maybe you'll spot me shopping in those velvet trousers soon...
Here's a pic of my recently Son Mari'd t-shirt/pj drawer (post was looking a bit dull without a piccie!)
I've noticed over the last few years that many people ditch the New Years Resolutions and come up with a word to shape their year instead. I've done it a couple of times. I hadn't even thought about it for 2019 until someone I follow posted theirs. Then I read Michelle Obama's book 'Becoming' and thought that would be a good one - but it didn't really fit. I didn't give it much thought to be honest, but as I was lying in bed last night after watching the London fireworks and waiting for the local ones to quieten down a few words floated through my head.
Forwards...
Simple...
Grow...
Health...
Time...
Now that one really struck a chord. TIME. 2018 was a hectic year. Three jobs over the summer. Extra hours at the shop covering for staff shortages. It just felt generally full on. And I know part of that is my own fault for offering to fill in when someone went sick, for saying yes when asked to do extra and that's OK. We're a team, we help each other out but I need to get better at balancing my time. Boss number two takes the mickey that if she gives me more than one day off I get sick - and it's generally true. If I stop, it all catches up. So I need to take time for me, not a lot, but a bit more often!
Time to do what I want to do, and if that is sit in bed all day and read my book, then not feel guilty about the hoovering or ironing I should be doing. Going for a walk by the water and not worrying about all the 'I should be doings'.
Maybe I'll find myself a hobby. Learn something new. Write on here a bit more often!
Maybe time will find me traveling, spending time with friends and family, getting outside more - whatever it ends up looking like I'm looking forward to carving out some of it for me!
