The minute I try and deprive myself of something it all goes wrong!
For various reasons I have cut my hours at one of my jobs so I told myself I'd have a spending freeze to see if I could manage on the lower income - cue the spending spree. I'm lucky that I have some savings and so I just convinced myself that it was OK to dip into them. Needless to say I did!
I have no willpower!
Once I'd started I sort of convinced myself that as I'd broken the rule I might as well do it in style - ooh shiny thing yes please! (I'm the same with dieting, if I have something a little bit naughty in the morning then I've blown it for the day so go mad!)
I don't mind spending more to get good quality!
I've never had a lot of money. I was always the almost kid at school. I could never quite afford the 'in' thing so had the almost substitute (shell suit from Folkestone market anyone!) I convinced myself that if my £10 could get me 4 cheap t-shirts that was a bargain. In fact J and I used to have the argument at school - she'd laugh if she knew I'd come round to her way of thinking (£10 for one nice t-shirt) I also know that expensive doesn't always mean better (I know some companies charge a lot because of their name but the quality doesn't always match up!)
I'm overly influenced by the emails that bounce into my inbox on a far too regular basis and by social media.
If I don't know about it then I don't want it but as soon as that email / instagram photo / tweet / facebook post brings it too my attention I can't live without it (OK slight exaggeration but you see what I'm getting at!)
I don't still want to be decluttering when I'm 50!
I want to fill my home, wardrobe etc with less but better and with things that I will actually use and wear. You know it's bad when you take another batch of parcels to the post offie and they ask if this is all your stuff or if you go shopping and sell things on. Nope, all mine. I've got better but there is still a lot of room for improvement.
When I do shop it needs to be for the life I am living and not the one I think I ought to be.
I have one job where I work in an office built into the corner of a warehouse. It's a jeans and hoodies kinda job, some of the time in branded clothing. I may bring out a skirt or dress in the summer but it's a day to day comfy clothes kinda place. I have another job where I have to wear the clothes we sell, end of. I also have a third job for a couple of months in the summer, partly in a laid back office and partly in a field where no one gives two hoots what you're wearing. So yes, that Cath Kidston Bambi shirt seemed like a great idea when I bought it in December but it's now April and it hasn't left my wardrobe - it doesn't fit my life.
What am I going to do about all of the above?
I'm going to unsubscribe from those tempting emails. I'm going to stop following those tempting accounts on social media. This is the age of instant information - when I do truly need/want something I can look it up at the touch of a few keys. I can research. I can ponder. I might even find a different option/solution. But it will be to my timetable and my resources.
I'm going to think about the life I have when something does tempt me. This may not be where I thought I would be or where I ultimately want to be but it's where I am right now and right now is what matters. I can make changes to move this life in a different direction but buying a new shirt, faddy something isn't going to make it happen.
I will continue to declutter, donating, selling etc but I'm going to try not to instantly fill any space I make or spend any money that comes in. Slow and steady, thoughtful and researched.
I'm not going to stop spending as I already know that's a slippery slope but I want to change the emphasis instead. Rather than this or that gimmick or that 'almost' item I'll save up for something better. I'll have that one pair of custom made boots and wear them til they fall apart. Maybe I'll invest in me, better food, less screen time, a class, a hobby.
One step at a time...
